A lot of my thoughts are spent on the future. They always have been. I am that child who looks to the future. Today, I am finally thankful for where I have been, more thankful as the years go on. Perhaps it's the realization that I am getting older. During just the past 3 years (not to mention the past 27 before that) I have done amazing things, met fantastic people, learned more than I could ever imagine and more importantly I am so very blessed. Daily I am blessed.
I can also look to the future and see the great things that are going to happen. I can envision the places I will go, the new career I will have and all its success, the children I will one day have, the life I will have and the love that will continue to grow within me for those around me.
Where I am at a loss is clearly seeing the present. Living in the now. Experiencing the here and now. Appreciating every moment that happens. The analogy I can give you is this. I plan these vacations in great detail and have great fun planning them. Then when I am finally in the country of wherever it seems I begin planning the next trip instead of truly enjoying the days I am there. I also find it difficult not to let my expectations of what the future has to hold not to mess with my present. You know the moment where you are disappointed because something does not happen according to "plan". My plan is not a plan it's more of a hope. I would like to think I'm flexible and in fact I am loving the detours that my life is always taking me down.
However, on all the detours that I willingly go down I wonder... will I every truly enjoy what is happening now. Do I have that capability of it? Or will I forever be looking to the future? And then thankful for my past?
