Happy Single Awareness Day

Valentine's Day is an intriguing "holiday" to me. It's a Hallmark holiday only around to make men feel inadequate for not living up to some Harlequin romance novel version of what a woman is to expect on February 14 and to remind single people of the fact that yes they are in fact SINGLE. I can have this opinion because I have always had a significant other on said holiday. Well minus the first holiday after I filed for divorce.

You know the one where a group of my friends decided to take me to the Mucky Duck, a watering hole in Monterey, to go hang out. Not only am I not a fan of bars but I'm not a fan of this bar and there were a ton of people there. So as my claustrophobia and whatever social phobia I might have begin to kick in they ALL proceeded to leave me at the fire pit, alone. With only my now watered down cocktail and the warm fire to protect me. For the first time in God knows how many years I was uncomfortable and almost started to panic but then realized, whatever I'm smashtastic and hell I drove them here. Ha sucks to be them.

Then at that moment the guy next to me who without me noticing had slyly creeped (yes creeped) up next to me. He turns to me and says, "So, how you doin?" I looked at him trying not to laugh nor be totally turned off by the absolute look of fear on his face, smiled and said, "Well I just got ditched by my friends so I guess I'll make the most of it. I'm Jamieko..." I shook his hand he introduced himself. Too bad his name was forgotten shortly after he said it. He entertained me and the night was not lost. No wait... it gets better :) My barback ran over (I work across the street) and brought me a rose, a single white rose and said, "I heard you were over here, I thought you could use a flower to make you smile." I melted, realized that I had the best friends ever and didn't mind sitting alone by the warmth of the fire and the company of the friendly stranger.

I digress. I still think Valentine's Day is a horrible holiday even though I have been lucky enough to have someone to spend it with. So many men get so much flack for not buying flowers or chocolates or a card. All of my exes have loved me because my take is, there are 364 other days out of the year you should show me love, not just this one. So as long as you're doing that, then you're off the hook. :) Don't get me wrong, this girl will never turn away a loving card or flowers I'm just saying you don't have to feel like you are obligated. But remember I will turn away chocolate because I do not care for it.

This year will mark the very first year I truly celebrated Valentine's Day (well one that is memorable any hoo). I spent the afternoon with friends at a musical supporting another friend. Then the evening with the boy, who until he becomes more defined will remain known as, the boy. We talked, we cooked, we talked, we cooked, we kissed, we enjoyed each other's company. It was like every other Sunday we spend together (Sunday being the only day I have off) except he entered my apartment with a hug, a warm kiss and potted daffodils, golden yellow ones. He says, "I hope you like them, look there are two of them." So sweet, so gentle, so romantic.

We made a first attempt at risotto, wild mushroom-scallop risotto at that, cedar plank salmon with mango salsa, and asparagus (frozen in a bag steam me via the microwave, very bad idea, asparagus) and giant chocolate covered strawberries. A night of fun and relaxation that everyone should have. I gave him a card and some boxers and he gave me daffodils, we cooked dinner together and watched Couples Retreat.

Simple I suppose but still the most amazing Valentine's Day I have ever had. No unrealistic expectations, no bitter underlying unfulfilled desires, just two people totally enjoying every minute they have together. That's what the day should be about. Not flowers, candy and cards, but love, well perhaps not love yet but for sure deep like.

:) hope your holiday was great

jko

who am i?

I used to write poetry all the time. Hell I used to write all the time and now feel the need to get back into it. Sitting in my Saturday class in my notebook I found a poem I wrote 3 years ago and thought wow, I should start again. This is it

Who Am I?

I'm the child who made my mom stop after she hit a pigeon and then I nursed it back to health.

I'm the child who wanted to be a doctor but the adult who didn't have faith

I'm the person who can do anything but chooses to do nothing

I'm the female who will stop at nothing to make you happy but will sit in silence in misery

I'm the 27 year old who's never had a one night stand, doesn't have any regrets and has never used alcohol as an excuse for anything

I am the girl who talks to her dad at least three times a week, sometimes three times a day

I am the employee that's had more jobs then I am years old

I am the chick who has trouble finding and maintaining female friendship

I am the person to find the newcomer and make them feel at home

I am the one who has trouble saying no

I am the bartender who can make you feel like the only client in a busy bar

I am the flirt who you can say anything to and I'll smile

I am the caregiver who will nurse you back to health

I am the clepto that let my brother get blamed for things I stole

I am the granddaughter who was abused

I am the tomboy who has no trouble keeping up with the boys

I am the counselor who helps you through the bad days and celebrates the good ones

I am the best friend who you can call at 230AM scared and i'll calm you

I am the homebody who knows how to have a good natured good time

I am the poker player who knows your tells before you open your mouth

I am the daughter who's patience for my mother has worn thin

I am the wife who didn't know how to ask for what she wanted

I am the girlfriend who's devoted to your every need

I am the student every teacher dreams of

I am the woman trying to become a lady

I am a lady uncomfortable in her own femininity

I am the child that everyone thought would succeed, the woman that everyone turns to for everything and the person who is trying to find herself . . . can you help?

Dad's Fantastic Analogy

Jamieko, it's like you have this fantastic 5 day vacation all planned out in Florida and you've arrived at the airport. On the way to your gate you keep stopping at different airlines checking them out. Oh, maybe i'll go to New York instead, how about Texas? If you keep stopping and lose focus you're going to miss the plane to your dream vacation.

I love my father sometimes he hits the nail right on the head.

jko